Trying to be funny

- Grant's Adventures in Norwich and Beyond -


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Ben picked 7 of my out-of-date interests, now look where we are
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Double Acting

Double Acting is my favourite means of communication.  Any of your who've been in the room at the same time as ai_wintermute and myself will become aware of it; communicating as though the whole process is merely for other people's enjoyment.  In double-acting there is often a straight man and a funny man, and I was more often straight than funny, but the roles are fluid and more often than not you'll swap multiple times throughout. We love it when other people laugh or join in; I, of course, get too keen and start joking too hard, too fast, and Chris was always good at either keeping the reins on me or using my comedic spaz to boost the overall performance.

It got to the point when we'd do it when no-one else was around.  It was an art form, a means of constructing and spinning jokes from nothing, and we'd do it for the satisfaction of a job well done.  If it broke, we'd analyse where it stopped being funny, or what would have made it funnier.  There are echoes of it still in my speech patterns but it's why I'm so faltering, so inept at social interaction; only half of the conversational strength that I'd like to use is present.

Librarians

No-brainer, this one; Librarians are hot.

I mean, you know, not actual librarians.  Can't say that I've seen many attractive librarians, to be honest - Librarians here is a work of fetish, a tag for "women with long hair tied back maybe, white button up shirts, some form of black skirt of exciting tightness, and let's not forget the glasses." It's not an uncommon fetish, I believe. The Mage cabal I set up back in Apocalypse days was based solely around attractive women dressed as librarians following me around while I mashed stuff up with a hammer.  (Only lasted three games, apparently women don't like having to be in close proximity to something shouting that loudly and often)

British

I'm not patriotic by a long shot, never really got the concept to be honest, but I am in fact British and for some reason I felt it necessary to write this down on my interests list.  Really?  I just am British.  It's not a hobby.  I didn't put "being tall" or "hating Jeremy Kyle" on there, you know?  They're all just instrinsic parts of who I am.

Still, some British things are fantastic and I will collate a short list here, most are food -

Cream scones and strawberry jam
Fish and chips
Sitting on soft warm grass as the sun goes down and the whole world smells of summer, maybe there's a girl there too, why not
Excessive politeness
Bowler hats
Actually I've just sort of run out

Tea

Sad to say, but my love of tea (forged in the depths of first year to give me an excuse to talk to people) has all but abated thanks to tremendously poor tea at work and having to get up in the morning, meaning that coffee is now the order of the day.  I drink around five cups a day, the recommended maximum, mainly as a tool to stay interested at work.  Fascinating what enough caffiene will do to you.

Plus black coffee is better with cigarettes and the combination of both is the emotional equivalent of bloody kevlar.

Italian Food

Strange to limit myself so much, really.  Italian food's okay; hard pressed to say why, precisely, which is dull.  It's generally good.  By the way, you should check out my new interests page.  Got some far more interesting interests on there which I wish I was writing about now.

Firepower


I like guns. Not actual guns, mind - horrible things, they hurt a whole bunch of people and rarely make life better for anyone involved - but fake guns, man, they're the mutt's nuts.  I'm currently hovering somewhere between two revolvers (or one big revolver) and the good old-fashioned pump action shotgun as to which is the best.

In my head, I am generally carrying some sort of gun at all times.  You know, like a protagonist might.  Not in a creepy murderer way, you understand.  You are welcome to take me on in a pretend gunfight at any point you wish, but I warn you, I'm very quick on the imaginary draw.

Also good are weight of fire, like a full platoon of Imperial guard opening up or the delicate eggshell balance that is trying to operate a powerful NERF gun without it jamming.


Bacon


A common reason for not being vegetarian, I'm similarly in love with bacon.  It has been in three of the last four meals I have eaten. It rarely makes a meal worse, and if by some freak accident it does, I would argue that it's the meal's fault and you shouldn't malign bacon like that, you bastard, what's it ever done to you.

Recently I made leeks, bacon and cubed potato all fried up with a cheese sauce and it was so tasty I want to immortalise it in a pasty.


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i still don't get the bacon love. it's just not that great a meat.


When was the last time you actually ate bacon? Clearly it was in some before time when bacon was not true bacon as we know it now but was some hideous travesty of bacon such as might be fashioned from twigs and misunderstanding.

It's too salty and anything that overpowering just doesn't do it for me.

Too... salty? I understand these words but put together in this order they make no sense...

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